{"id":2557,"date":"2017-03-22T08:29:29","date_gmt":"2017-03-22T08:29:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/v2.picaluna.com\/?p=2557"},"modified":"2024-03-22T20:08:49","modified_gmt":"2024-03-22T09:08:49","slug":"a-compassionate-champion-of-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.picaluna.com\/a-compassionate-champion-of-change\/","title":{"rendered":"A compassionate champion of change"},"content":{"rendered":"<p id=\"viewer-c9b6r\" class=\"mm8Nw _1j-51 _1atvN _1FoOD _3M0Fe _2WrB- _1atvN public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr\"><span class=\"_2PHJq public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr\"><strong>From the Newcastle Herald<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"viewer-35v2m\" class=\"mm8Nw _1j-51 _1atvN _1FoOD _3M0Fe _2WrB- _1atvN public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr\"><span class=\"_2PHJq public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr\">Lola Rus-Hartland offers Hunter Valley families a unique service. She walks with them in the final stages of life towards death, guiding and facilitating conversations between the dying and their family to resolve the unfinished business of their lives.<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"viewer-esvka\" class=\"mm8Nw _1j-51 _1atvN _1FoOD _3M0Fe _2WrB- _1atvN public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr\"><span class=\"_2PHJq public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr\">THEY call her the death doula. The Netherlands-born counsellor Lola Rus-Hartland ushers the dying and their families through the stages of death, from beginning to end. In The Netherlands those who do this work are\u00a0called the stervensbegeleiding\u00a0\u2013\u00a0it translates to farewell guide. And it\u00a0is funded under\u00a0public health. \u201cThe Dutch people are a little bit more open, probably in Australia we are a bit more of a death denying society than other cultures,\u201d Ms Rus-Hartland said. \u201cYou help the dying person to farewell their life and loved ones, but you help the loved ones to farewell this person. So it\u00a0works on both ends.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"viewer-4apr\" class=\"mm8Nw _1j-51 _1atvN _1FoOD _3M0Fe _2WrB- _1atvN public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr\"><span class=\"_2PHJq public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr\">Her grandmother was also a death doula, but her own career in the field began\u00a0as a young social worker in The Netherlands. \u201cMy 18 year-old-client gave birth to a baby who was still-born and I somehow kicked into this instinctive doing,\u201d she said. She arranged for the baby to stay with the mother to help her move through the loss of the infant. \u201cIn 1984 it was not the done thing to walk around in a hospital with a dead baby,\u201d she said. \u201cWe washed the baby and dressed her in oils and wrapped her and my client had the baby with her until three days later.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"viewer-aopps\" class=\"mm8Nw _1j-51 _1atvN _1FoOD _3M0Fe _2WrB- _1atvN public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr\"><span class=\"_2PHJq public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr\">Death touched her own life when at 31 her husband was murdered. She was pregnant with their first child. She insisted the body be brought home.\u00a0She spent five days with him in the Blue Mountains home they had shared in\u00a0the lead-up to his funeral. \u201cWhere else would I want him?\u201d she said.\u00a0 Her services are contracted by people who are dying or by their families. She said the duties of the job were wide ranging and varied depending on each individual circumstance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"viewer-64ok9\" class=\"mm8Nw _1j-51 _1atvN _1FoOD _3M0Fe _2WrB- _1atvN public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr\"><span class=\"_2PHJq public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr\">It usually begins with a phone call and an initial consultation. Sometimes the call comes just days after a terminal diagnosis. Other times it comes later when \u201cthe fear really starts kicking in.\u201d \u201cHome visits are good because I get a feel for the place and how they relate, and I listen to what they want,\u201d she said. Things begin\u00a0with her asking the client what it is they would like her to do for them. \u201cBut often they don\u2019t know what they want. Usually we start having a chat and I make my own notes in my head,\u201d she said. \u201cI leave it for a few days and then I come back, by then I have a sense of the landscape.\u201c It\u2019s the talking and the teasing out of the emotions, where the tears, fears and regrets lay and what the underlying unfinished business is \u2013\u00a0that is often where the work is.\u201d She facilitates conversations between family members.\u201cIt often creates such a sense of intimacy between the dying person and their loved ones,\u201d she said. \u201cIt intensifies the good feelings that are there between them in those last few months rather than the distance of \u2018No we don\u2019t talk about them\u2019.\u201d The client sets the pace. Ms\u00a0Rus-Hartland may visit twice a week in the final stages\u00a0and is often present during the last moments of life.\u00a0 She also offers after-death care. She has a cooling plate, which slows decomposition and allows families to bring home the body after death. The deceased can remain in the home for up to five days under Australian regulations. A GP must be notified within 48 hours of a person dying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"viewer-5gd71\" class=\"mm8Nw _1j-51 _1atvN _1FoOD _3M0Fe _2WrB- _1atvN public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr\"><span class=\"_2PHJq public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr\">\u201cIt takes the human psyche about three days of being around a human body to comprehend this person is dead,\u201d she said. \u201cAfter that people are usually ready to let go of the body. To be with the body on and off for a few days makes it easier to comprehend. \u201cIf you are around the body and you touch and care for the body there is this great respect in it and there is time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"viewer-8saf1\" class=\"mm8Nw _1j-51 _1atvN _1FoOD _3M0Fe _2WrB- _1atvN public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr\"><span class=\"_2PHJq public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr\">In the industry there is a saying that after someone dies families should pick up the kettle not the phone. \u201cWhen someone dies you don\u2019t need to pick up the phone and have the body whisked away,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cThere is a quiet realm we move in after someone dies, for me it is very similar to the time before birth. People look after each other and bring in meals, it is a very similar feeling.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"viewer-afvfa\" class=\"mm8Nw _1j-51 _1atvN _1FoOD _3M0Fe _2WrB- _1atvN public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr\"><span class=\"_2PHJq public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr\">Sometimes people want to bring the body home for just one day. However, Ms\u00a0Rus-Hartland said eight out of 10 times the family decide to keep the body longer. \u201c\u2019Just one more day,\u2019 they say,\u201d she said.\u00a0 She said an the main occupational hazard of her job was tears.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From the Newcastle Herald Lola Rus-Hartland offers Hunter Valley families a unique service. She walks with them in the final stages of life towards death,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2558,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_rsvp_to":"","_rsvp_max":"","_rsvp_show_attendees":"","_rsvp_instructions":"","simple_price":"","simple_price_label":"","venue":"","_template_start_hour":"","_template_start_minutes":"","_sked_minutes":"","_sked_stop":"","_sked_duration":"","_endfirsttime":"12:00","_sked_hour":"12","_sked_end":"13:00","rsvp_tx_template":0,"_rsvp_on":true,"_add_timezone":false,"_convert_timezone":false,"_calendar_icons":true,"_rsvp_end_display":false,"_rsvp_rsvpmaker_send_confirmation_email":false,"_rsvp_confirmation_after_payment":false,"_rsvp_confirmation_include_event":false,"_rsvp_count":true,"_rsvp_yesno":false,"_rsvp_captcha":false,"_rsvp_login_required":false,"_rsvp_form_show_date":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[66,67],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Newcastle Herald Funerals: A Compassionate Advocate for Change<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Transforming end-of-life experiences with compassion and innovation. 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