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Supporting Children and Teens in Grief

Family Funeral

It’s difficult to know what to say when trying to comfort someone who has suffered the loss of a loved one. Death is part of the human condition, it knows no age boundaries and it affects us all. And with death comes grief! However, when the grief of someone dying comes to children and teenagers, navigating this complex terrain can be particularly challenging.

Young individuals often lack the emotional vocabulary and coping mechanisms needed to cope with loss effectively. In this post, we will delve into the vital importance of supporting children and teenagers through the grieving process, and share how Picaluna Funerals, with its inclusive, innovative and compassionate approach to funeral services, can point you in the direction of an array of resources, tailored specifically for young people. Picaluna’s commitment to non-traditional funeral services, life celebration funerals, and eco-friendly options brings with it flexibility and outlets for inclusion for children and teens and plays a significant role in aiding them as they process grief.

Understanding the Significance of Supporting Grieving Children and Teens

Teenagers coping with death face a unique set of challenges. Death disrupts their sense of invulnerability, forcing them to confront mortality prematurely. The grieving process is complicated as they navigate a whirlwind of emotions – from shock and denial to anger and profound sadness. Children facing death in their lives encounter profound challenges that require sensitive and compassionate support. Understanding death is a complex concept for them, as it often involves confusion and fear. Younger children may view it as reversible or temporary, leading to questions about when the deceased will return. Clear, age-appropriate explanations are essential to help them grasp the finality of death. Emotions vary widely, from sadness and anger to guilt or even indifference, as children process grief in their own unique ways. One thing is sure, supportive adults and a nurturing environment are crucial. It’s crucial for adults to remain patient and understanding, allowing children to grieve at their own pace.

The Importance of Addressing Grief in Young Individuals

Supporting children and teenagers through the grieving process is crucial for several reasons:

Emotional Well-being

Grief can have a profound impact on a child’s emotional well-being. If left unaddressed, it may lead to long-term emotional and psychological issues, such as depression, anxiety, and unresolved trauma.

Educational Performance

Grief can interfere with a young person’s ability to concentrate and perform well in school. Providing support can help them maintain their academic progress.

Building Resilience

Learning to cope with grief in a healthy way can contribute to the development of resilience and emotional intelligence in young individuals.

Preventing Negative Coping Mechanisms

Without proper support, children and teens may resort to negative coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or self-harm, to deal with their pain.

For children and teenagers, the complexities of these losses can be magnified due to their limited understanding of death and the emotions that accompany it.

The unique challenge of supporting grieving young people is that they often find it difficult to express their emotions or understand the complex feelings they are experiencing. Additionally, societal expectations regarding grief can pressure them to conform to specific norms, which can be detrimental to their healing process. Recognising these challenges is the first step toward providing effective support.

Picaluna Funerals is very proud of what they can create, tailoring ceremonies enabling inclusivity for grieving youth and children with involvement in the funeral process. It’s all about helping everyone say goodbye in the best possible way. The ability of their Funeral Directors to support children and teenagers through inclusion, can aid the grieving process, with their compassionate approach to non-traditional funeral services, life celebration funerals, and eco-friendly options offer many avenues for children to honour their memories and to express their grief.

Youth-Friendly Funeral Services

Picaluna’s non-traditional funeral services can be youth-friendly and customised to reflect the interests and passions of the young person dealing with grief. The use of simple and truthful language and offering options for inclusion in the funeral service may help children and teens feel more connected to the memorialisation process and provides them with a meaningful opportunity to express their feelings.

Cardboard Coffins: A Sustainable Choice with Creative Designs

Cardboard coffins have gained popularity in recent years as a sustainable and cost-effective alternative to traditional caskets. Picaluna provides a variety of creative and customisable cardboard coffin designs. These coffins are not only eco-friendly but also offer families an opportunity to celebrate the life of their loved one in a unique and personal way. Coffin decoration has become increasingly popular and is an opportunity to connect with a person’s death in a direct way. Some designs feature artwork, photographs, or messages that reflect the individual’s personality and interests, adding a meaningful touch to the farewell ceremony. Children and teenagers may want to help decorate the cardboard coffin.

Involving children in the funeral service can be a meaningful way for them to process their grief and pay their respects while fostering an understanding of the event’s significance. Depending on the child’s age and comfort level there are several ways they can participate:

Create a Memory: Children can create artwork for the funeral service, write letters, or compose poems to place in or near the casket, allowing them to express their emotions and honour the deceased.

Share Stories: Encouraging children to share anecdotes or memories during the service can provide a sense of acceptance and celebrate the life of the loved one.

Light Candles: Lighting a candle in memory of the deceased during a funeral service is a symbolic gesture that even young children can participate in, signifying the eternal presence of their loved one.

Play Music: Children with musical talents can perform a piece or select a favourite song to be played during the service, adding a personal touch.

Participate in Rituals: In some cultural or religious traditions, children have specific roles in funeral rituals, like sprinkling holy water or placing flowers.

Beyond the service

Picaluna Funerals is uniquely aware of the importance of addressing grief in young individuals and encourages families to seek the assistance of specialist professionals:

Specialised Counselling Services

Recognising the limits of their role, funeral directors can refer families to specialised grief support services. By encouraging families to seek support of professional grief counsellors and support groups, funeral directors see that grieving young individuals receive the comprehensive care they need.

The Role of Funeral Directors in Supporting Grieving Youth

Funeral directors are highly sensitive to the unique needs of supporting grieving children and teenagers. They are often the first point of contact for families and can significantly influence that first-ever funeral experience for the young. Here’s how funeral directors can contribute to a more normalised experience of bereavement for young individuals in mourning:

Compassionate Communication

Funeral directors can use their expertise to communicate with children and teenagers in a compassionate and age-appropriate manner. They can explain the funeral service process, answer questions, and provide reassurance, helping to alleviate the anxiety that young people may feel in unfamiliar situations.

Picaluna’s Commitment to Eco-Friendly Options

In addition to its dedication to supporting grieving children and teenagers, Picaluna is supportive of eco-friendly funeral options. This commitment aligns with this generation’s growing focus on environmental sustainability and the desire of many families to make responsible choices during the end-of-life process. Respecting their wishes validates that they need to be heard and respected in their time of grief.

In conclusion

Supporting children and teenagers through the grieving process is of utmost importance for their emotional well-being and long-term resilience. Picaluna, with its modern, inclusive and innovative approach to non-traditional funeral serviceslife celebration funerals, and eco-friendly options, is at the forefront of providing comprehensive support for young individuals dealing with grief. By offering unique ways for families and the young to find deeper connection in the funeral service, and creating youth-friendly funeral experiences, Picaluna helps young people navigate grief in a healthy and meaningful way.

Funeral directors, as compassionate professionals, also play a crucial role in supporting grieving youth by communicating with them in a compassionate manner, customising funeral services, and referring families to specialised grief support services. Moreover, Picaluna’s support of eco-friendly options, such as natural burialscremation, or burial choices, scattering ashes, and eco coffins, aligns with the growing awareness of environmental sustainability and provides families with responsible end-of-life choices.

Picaluna’s support of holistic grief support with its charity partner Griefline Services and eco-friendly options demonstrates its commitment to helping families and young individuals find solace, understanding, and hope as they navigate the challenging journey of grief. Together, we can ensure that children and teens receive the support and care they deserve during their difficult healing process while also making sustainable choices that protect our planet for future generations.


Should my child attend the funeral or memorial service?

CLICK HERE for info on: Should children attend the Funeral or Memorial Service?

Explaining funerals to children: what happens at a cremation?

 Explaining funerals to children: what happens at a burial?

Puddle Jumping: how children can seem to move in and out of their grief

The Invisible Suitcase: understanding grief and how to manage it 

Remembering someone special who has died 

The Children and End of Life Memorials and Rituals resource includes sections on:

  • How to talk to a child about what happens to the body and viewing the body
  • Ways for children to participate in end-of-life ceremonies and rituals
  • Remembrance activities
  • Additional Resources

Click here for booklet on Children & end of life

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